MB
            You are listening to The Cold Bath.

                                   ANON
            The first real campaign was....for Normal Mailer.  Oh no there were two
            before that.  One was a judge, who has now gone to his reward.

                                   MB
            Just to clarify for people judges get elected.  I honestly think people, I
            honestly didn't know that before I started talking to you.

                                   ANON
            There are some states where the governor appoints them all.  There are
            some states where the parties anoint them, that is to say they are the
            Democratic and Republican nominees, and if there's a Liberal and
            Conservative party they go with all four.  Some states say you can only
            have three nominations.  Look, given the system we use to select them,
            the judges are marvelous.  They're better than we had any right to hope
            for.  I don't want to comment on people, because that's already done in the
            Masked Media, often mispronounced as the Mass Media, but that's done by
            the Masked Media generally.  What I'd like to do is be those people just for
            a few moments so that you can see the world as they see it.  Hi, I'm Mike. 
            Mike  Nifong.  And here is my story.  Mike is a lawyer of ordinary talent,
            and he is in Durham, NC.  He is an equal assistant DA, co-equal with this
            gal Frida Black.  They work in the same office.  The distrct attorney leaves,
            and Mike is temporarily appointed to be the district attorney of Durham,
            NC.  Now he has to run in a Democratic primary against Frida Black in
            just a few weeks, but she's going to win because the newness of having a
            woman anything will be attractive not to young women, but to women 60,
            70, and 80 who vote and who remember when women couldn't get
            themselves arrested unless their husband had been congressman and
            died, then they could follow him.  But women getting to high office on
            their own hook, that is quite new.  I predate it.  And regardless of what
            you might think now, I am younger than Abraham Lincoln.  Now Mike's
            problem is simple and I want you to think of Mike as just an ordinary 
            febrile human like you.  He has to defeat Frida Black in the Democratic
            Primary, which is coming up on him like a runaway train.  And this case
            falls into his lap.  This young woman comes forward and says I was raped
            by the football team, or the lacrosse team, or the baseball team.  Doesn't
            matter.

                                   MB
            Even though we know it was the lacrosse team.

                                   ANON
            Even though..  For this purposes it was the lacrosse team, but it doesn't
            matter.  Who are the people who are being accused?
            They are the Scottsboro Boys of today.  Now you can go onto Google and
            find out who the Scottsboro Boys were.  These people  are the upper middle
            class, white Scottsboro Boys.  They're people wrongly accused of rape. 
            Now, as a guy who when he was alive, used to like to fuck around, rape is
            the worst possible crime where the victim survives.  Even with
            kidnapping you say, if they were kidnapped as small children as W.S.
            Gilbert of Gilbert and Sullivan.  He was kidnapped, when he was a year
            old.  That's why when you see the Pirates of Penzance or anything there
            are always these ridiculous, these Keystone Cops.  These  nutty people
            because this is how he saw the world from the time of age 1 when he was
            kidnapped.   We don't have to go into the music versus the libretto or that
            Sullivan was a much greater talent than Gilbert.  We don't need to talk
            about that.   Just the fact that he was kidnapped when he was  year old. 
            But but...

                                   MB
            Rape...

                                   ANON
            Rape is  the most serious crime where the victim survives because that
            woman and her friends and her mother and her sisters will never be the
            same again.  So it is the most serious charge to raise.  

                                   MB
            That woman you mean the rape victim.  You don't mean the woman in the
            Durham case.  You mean the woman who is raped.

                                   ANON
            The actual rape victim and unlike the television drama like Law and Order
            where you can see who did it.  It unfolds in the course of the one hour
            drama, we don't know who did it in real life.  The district attorneys don't
            know who did it.  The police do not know who did it.  They try to find out
            but they are under a great deal of pressure.  Now, among the horrible
            pressures they are under is political.  

                                   MB
            Again, now you're talking specifically about the Durham case.

                                   ANON
            Specifically about the Durham case.  Mike has to beat Frida Black in the
            primary.  This is what Hitchcock calls the Macguffin.  It is that thing
            which is of no interest to you, the audience but which motivates the
            characters in the play.  Many of you who have seen the movie Psycho
            don't even know about the 60,000 dollars.  It is of no interest to you, but
            that's what starts her off on the road to Bates Motel.  She's running
            because she's stolen this money.  And please, if it was only 50,000 dollars
            please don't email us and call us a liar for 10,000 dollars. 
            That's not the point.  The Macguffin in this case is the Democratic
            Primary.  Mike Nifong, who is a white male, needs to beat Frida Black who
            is a black female.  And she is a black female who the audience will have no
            trouble recognizing because her name is Black.  And his name, lucky for
            him, is not Mike White.  But now, he has to beat her so, he hears of this
            woman who is bringing charges that she was raped by the sports team. 
            And it's by the sports team in the big University, the very liberal
            University , the very wealthy University who is the 8,000 pound gorilla in
            their community so it's perfect from Mike's point of view.  

                                   MB
            Now do you think at this point there's someone whispering in his ear
            saying, hey you know this is...

                                   ANON
            You mean then?

                                   MB
            Yeah.

                                   ANON
            In the beginning?

                                   MB
            Yeah.  Or do you think he takes it upon himself, and again let's just say
            this is all your interpretation of events.

                                   ANON
            Right.

                                   MB
            This is how you see the world.  We are speculating.  Neither of us know
            what the real deal is and neither of us have talked to any of the people
            involved, but this story tells so much about the way that you perceive
            politics.  Let me ask a very cynical question.   If you had been there, Let's
            say he'd started his campaign was a couple weeks away and you're
            working for him and this whole thing happens what would you have
            advised him...

                                   ANON
            In private?

                                   MB
            Yeah.

                                   ANON
            Mike listen, this is politics, there's no reason you shouldn't spread racial
            and seAnonual fears for money.  I mean, this is a very raw game. 
            Uh, politics ain't bean bag.   Finley Peter Dunn said that a hundred years
            ago.  You should read his books.  They're all remainder they'll call you a
            dollar.  

                                   MB
            Well let's just stop.  This is a feature of this podcast there's going to be a
            recommended reading list you have now just hit upon the first one.  The
            title of the book is...

                                   ANON
            Find any of them by Finley Peter Dunn.  He was a Chicago newspaper man
            back when they had newspaper men and it was a hundred years ago so
            the books in hardcover should cost you three dollars.  

                                   MB
            Right.  Okay.  Politics ain't beanbag, so advising Mike Nifong...

                                   ANON
            Right, I'd say there's no reason you should not be playing with dynamite. 
            There's no reason you should not be spreading racial and sexual fears to
            beat Frida Black in the Primary.  All's fair in love and war, however as a
            human being Mike, you don't want to be a...what's the word I'm looking
            for...a monster.  You don't want to actually spread racial and sexual fears
            to win the stupid democratic primary in Durham, North Carolina.  If
            you're going to spread racial and sexual fears for a living it should be a
            much bigger payoff than this.  I mean you're spreading real terror in
            people's real hearts for what?  For what?  To be district attorney in
            Durham, North Carolina?  Mike give me a fucking break.  Come on Mike, at
            least wind up being President, General Secretary of the United Nations,
            you know dictator, president for life.  I mean if you're going to go into the
            hearts and souls of these helpless people in Durham, North Carolina who
            because you are an elected official and the district attorney they're gonna
            believe you when you say Anon did Y to Z you should be right.  You
            shouldn't hold 71 impromptu press conferences every time making these
            kids who we now know..they weren't just not guilty.  OJ was not guilty. 
            They didn't do it.  They had nothing to do with it.  And you knew that
            going in.  But you're genius, and I have to give you this, you're genius is
            you never permitted yourself to interview her.  So that no judge...

                                   MB
            He never interviewed her?

                                   ANON
            No.  No.  He would say hi to her in the hall.  

                                   MB
            What's his reasoning?  So that he has some sort of plausible deniability?

                                   ANON
            Exactly!  Exactly.  He's brilliant...whatever he is, he is a pro at his job.  He
            knows that some judge, or somebody like me who works for some
            governor is gonna get a hold of him and say, what are you out of your
            fuckin' mind?  You're spreading racial  to win an election?  You're
            spreading the fears of every woman who is afraid of actually being raped? 
            You're spreading that fear to win an election?  What kind of monster are
            you?  By the way the only justice this man will ever get is if people stop
            using the word using the word nefarious, and when they would normally
            use the word nefarious, they would from now on use the word Nifong.  And
            say that's terribly Nifong.  And then they can apologize, they can send out
            an internet message to all the people actually named Nifong, we're sorry. 
            Like Quizling a generation ago.  [The word quisling comes from the name
            of Major Vidkun Quisling, a Norwegian who collaborated with the
            Germans during their occupation of Norway. The word now means
            "traitor."]

                                   MB
            Is this the most cynical you've seen in a campaign?

                                   ANON
            No.  No.

                                   MB
            What takes the cake for you.    What out Nifongs Nifong.  

                                   ANON
            I don't want to say now because although it is called The Cold Bath, it
            shouldn't be a bath full of ice water.  

                                   MB
            Okay, give me a .5 Nifong.  

                                   ANON
            Uh, I'd have to think about it.  I'd have to really think about it.

                                   MB
            Alright so let's go back to where you are now.   You said there's a couple
            campaigns before Norman Mailer, Gloria Steinham was on hand she
            apparently was very hot.

                                   ANON
            I thought, I really did because I'm just one or two years younger than
            Gloria, I thought that she was Norman's wife.  Because she's a foot taller
            than Norman, but she managed to look up at him.  Try that.  Adoringly. 
            And in those days, you know, this is before the flood, if someone in some
            political meeting hall was looking up at you adoringly, generally that was
            the role played by your ever=lovin' wife.  I dont' want to mention any
            names but there are some people who ran for high office and their wives
            did not campaign with them.  And when people I know would say  "why
            aren't you campaigning with your husband they would say something like
            "oh please, Howard's crazy."  Or whatever, of "John's crazy" or "Billy's
            crazy," but certain people are so unlike their public image.  Like Al
            Sharpton is an example.  An extremely nice person.  

                                   MB
            I can't wait to have you talk about Sharpton which is great.  

                                   ANON
            He's smart.

                                   MB
            Yeah, you have a lot of respect for Al Sharpton.

                                   ANON
            No.  No.  I have the right amount of respect for him, uh look..let me tell you
            this.  Let me tell you what I should have done all my life.  I should have
            started a civil rights organization for the highly intelligent poor.   I'm not
            starting one now, and I don't invite any of you to join, but that's what I
            should have done.  Just as others have the "n" word, that's not "enye"
            that's standard English.  Just as others have the "n" word ours was, "if
            you're so smart, why ain't you rich."  We wanted to drive that from the
            public culture.  The concept was something that every highly intelligent
            person who was not born rich or who did not make substantial wealth
            has had to fight against their whole life.   So when I see anybody who's
            very smart.  Anybody, doesn't matter, there's a family resemblance
            between Al Sharpton and me that is just on the smart thing.  

                                   MB
            You think he's not rich now? 

                                   ANON
            No comment.

                                   MB
            It's funny there's different types of no comments of yours.  Some of
            which...some no comments mean no comment to affirm what you're
            saying, some mean no comment to deny, and then there's a whole other
            category of no comment which I don't even know what it means.

                                   ANON
            Well I 

                                   MB
            I have no...

                                   ANON
            I simply don't know what his finances are, and like about people's sex
            lives, and this is a very reliable observation, I don't care.  I don't care.

                                   MB
            What do you mean you don't care about people's sex lives?

                                   ANON
            I don't care what others are doing.  I only care who I want to fuck, not
            who you want to fuck.  I don't care.  And I don't care how others make
            their living unless they're, you know, Mike.  Mike Nifong.

                                   MB
            But you're saying you have a certain, you feel some sense of sympatico
            with Al Sharpton because of this sense that he was a smart underdog like
            yourself for a time?  Am I getting it wrong?

                                   ANON
            When he was five, he was a slightly chubbier Michael Jackson running
            around the stage with a microphone and cable asking older black women
            "Lady, why don't you give me some of your money so I could give it to
            Jesus."  And then, when his father died when he was eleven he had to do it
            professionally because his mother and his sisters insisted.  So we're all
            victims of circumstance.  But at a certain age you realize that and you look
            at Bill Clinton, George Bush and you don't see the President.  You see some
            poor febrile human being like yourself.  And you see this in everybody. 
            You see it, it doesn't matter whether they're Jeffrey Dahmer or name
            some other serial killers.  Who was the fellow in Chicago, had the little
            boys under his floorboards, John Wayne Gacy or, who was the one in
            Florida, Ted Bundy, or whether...even John Kerry.  Even Al Gore, who's
            movie is called, "An Inconvenient Woman: How I Will Brush Hillary Aside
            For The Nomination."

                                   MB
            So on some level you're asserting on some level that Al Gore's movie was
            his run at unseating Hillary for the Democratic nomination in 2008.

                                   ANON
            That certainly is part of what it is.

                                   MB
            Another thing you've said to me once, which I've repeated a lot, is that
            every voter has one issue that will decide how they vote, logically or
            illogically there's one core issue that will decide across the board how
            they vote.

                                   ANON
            Right.

                                   MB
            And I think it's true.  And for me it's environmental.  It's all the
            environmental issues.

                                   ANON
            Let me just return for a moment to Mike Nifong.  He knows that he has to
            beat Frida Black in the Democratic primary so what can he do?  Again,
            we're all victimes of circumstance.  He has to show the women, and the
            black women, and black men that he's more a champion of them, than a
            black woman.  And he's running against a black woman who's name is
            Black.  You cannot make this stuff up.  Look I got into a thing with an
            equally intelligent far younger man, someone you would identify with if
            you knew them.  And it was about some other thing during the recall
            when the governor was being replaced with Schwarzenegger.

                                   MB
            Oh the California Governor recall.  

                                   ANON
            And there were 31 previous recall efforts.  But none of them succeeded till
            this one.  But this one succeeded because it had two groups behind it.  The
            Democrats and the Republicans, and when you run afoul of both of them
            you lose.  During the campaign there was a political campaign message
            that did not seem to be.  It seemed to be about something else.  And I got
            into a contretemp with my friend.  He thought that this statement in the
            recall election was absolutely sincere about something Schwarzenegger
            may or may not have done. And I said it has nothing to do...

                                   MB
            Is this about the groping?  The Schwarzenegger groping?

                                   ANON
            No.  No.  No.

                                   MB
            Do you not remember or are you not saying it?

                                   ANON
            No no no no no.  I just, I don't remember but it wasn't that.

                                   MB
            Okay.  So it's something...someone alleged that Schwarzenegger did
            something...

                                   ANON
            Yeah.

                                   MB
            May or may not have been true.

                                   ANON
            No, it wasn't may or may not have been true.  It was a whole cloth
            generated political campaign piece for another one of the candidates and
            what I was telling my friend who hasn't spent his whole life in politics is
            people like me, although I don't know who, make this stuff up and they
            insert these little droplets of poison into the body politic knowing that
            you will take them seriously and that is how conspiracy works in our
            public culture.  Now, are there conspiracies?  Yes.  Jack Kennedy did not
            commit suicide.  It was not an ordinary automobile accident.  I read the
            Warren Report, and here is what it says in brief.  Lee Harvey Oswald,
            acting alone, threw a single stick or Wrigley's  Spearmint chewing gum,
            with the wrapper still on, off the sixth floor of the Texas Schoolbox
            Suppository Building, going up the President's ass and causing all those
            wounds in Connelly.  That's what they said, and they said that because
            you have to say something outrageous because if you said something
            sensible it would cause more problems.  But this was 43 years ago and I
            don't tell myself as I did when I was 13, 15, 25, 35 that they were wrong
            to say this bullshit.  I did, but then at a certain point, but then at a certain
            point, and I'm sorry I don't mean to say this as a threat but this will
            happen to you.  You will grow up.  And you will say "Oh my god," or "Oh
            my..." you know whatever, "Oh my post-god."  I can't tell the truth.  I
            cannot tell the citizens the truth.  I don't even know exactly  what it is but
            I cannot speak out loud to them.  I have to come up with a cover story. 
            You will have somethingin your private life, in your sex life, your
            financial life that you'll say we just simply can't say what happened.  We
            have to say something plausible or something outrageous to divert
            attention.  However the problem is if you do this more than once or twice
            the citizens will begin to think that everything is a conspiracy.  I have
            met very intelligent people, although the truth is most of them here in
            Hollystupid who believe that the CIA blew up the World Trade Center.  

                                   MB
            I have not met many people who actually believe that.

                                   ANON
            I didn't say there were many.   I have just met several who believe this,
            and they really believe this, and they really believe it.   Are they grasping
            at straws?  I don't know.  But they don't seem to be drooling.  They don't
            seem to be gibbering idiots.  They seem to be more or less intelligent
            people and they say things like this and then others pile on.

                                   MB
            Basically you're saying there's a psychology for accepting these
            conspiracies.

                                   ANON
            There's a psychology to call everything a conspiracy where in fact
            practically nothing is.  In the tension between stupidity and conspiracy,
            stupidity nearly always wins.

                                   MB
            Let's end it on that.

                                   ANON
            Okay.

                                   MB
            You're listening to The Cold Bath.